The Tom & Jerry Show

Kerala is currently run by Tom & Jerry. Tom is Pinarayi Vijayan, the Communist party state secretary and Jerry is V S Achyutanandan, the octogenarian Chief Minister and they love each other the way Nouri al-Maliki loved Saddam Hussein. At present, administration in Kerala essentially consists of both of them and their supporters trying to out smart one another. If they ran into pitch forks or doors and like how Hanna-Barbera intended, it would have been more fun, but it is not so.

And the politburo is not amused by this cartoon show. Good Communists are supposed to get rich, keep the masses poor, create agitations, disrupt life, but not fight among themselves. The politburo has zero tolerance for such behavior which is common among the bourgeoisie.

In a recent speech in Kannur, Pinarayi came out against the Chief Minister’s crony Manjalamkuzhi Ali MLA for the reason that sun rose in the east. Pinarayi claimed that Ali was infected by the Shahjahan syndrome. This did not mean Ali was importing marbles to construct another Taj Mahal, but just that Pinarayi had lost his marbles. Pinarayi also mentioned that Ali would have the same fate as Shahjahan. People took it to mean that when Ali dies Indians would pay Rs 20 to visit his tomb and foreigners would pay Rs. 750.

That was not what Pinarayi meant. He meant that like Shahjahan, he too would be expelled from the party. Then some newbie party worker reminded Pinarayi that Ali was not a party member and as an Independent member of the Assembly, it would be difficult to expel him. Pinarayi admonished the newbie and said that facts should never deter a good communist.

Another point of disagreement among the communists is on whether the state should take an ADB Loan. The Chief Minister is against it while Pinarayi is for it. In a speech in Kozhikkode, Pinarayi said that people who opposed the loan were Dogmatix.  Later he said, he meant “dogmatists”

When you are charged up like this and going to the politburo, you have to be prepared. Yesterday  Pinarayi was detained at Chennai airport, on his way to Delhi, for possessing five rounds of live cartridges in his bag. He did not have a gun though. Probably one of his Maoist comrades would have loaned it to him if needed in Delhi.

The State Home Minister Kodiyeri Balakrishnan said that this was certainly illegal, but the media need now blow up the incident. On hearing this Osama bin Laden called up George Bush and asked if he can use the same defense?

This makes you wonder. Does everyone come with firearms and bombs to politburo meetings? Is this how unanimous decisions are made? Maybe it is like a scene in Tom & Jerry where Achyutanandan comes with an AK 47, Buddhadeb with a Howitzer (Copied and Made in China), Prakash Karat with a bow and arrow and Brinda Karat with a rolling pin. They all bow to the Chinese flag and then start shooting each other while Scott Bradley’s music plays in the background.

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